Plain: The children at school were familiar with many games, but Li Hua had never even heard of them.

　　Interesting: The children at school were familiar with games Li Hua had never even heard of.

　　Plain: The room was silent, but suddenly there was a clap of thunder outside.

　　Interesting: The silence of the room was broken by a sudden clap of thunder outside.

　　Plain: They were passionate lovers not only onstage but also off stage.

　　Better: They were passionate lovers onstage and off.

　　Plain: Outside the cinema, she lit a cigarette, not necessarily because she had a desire to smoke, but because she felt the need for warmth.

　　Better: Outside the cinema, she lit a cigarette, as much from the need for warmth as from any desire to smoke.

　　Plain: It was meant to be a brief kiss, but it turned into a long, lingering one.

　　Interesting: What was meant to be a brief kiss turned into a long, lingering one.

　　Plain: Music lightens life, but literature deepens it.

　　Interesting: Music lightens life; literature deepens it.

　　Plain: The film "Chariots of Fire" is about some young runners, but it is more than just that.

　　Interesting: The film "Chariots of Fire" is much more than just a story of young runners.

　　Plain: It is not his height but his weight that prevented him from competing in the race.

　　Interesting: His weight, not his height, prevented him from competing in the race.

　　Plain: Susan seemed unsuitable for the part, but she turned out to be the best actress in the production.

　　Interesting: Susan seemed unsuitable for the part, yet she turned out to be the best actress in the production.

　　Plain: Old Wang is often described as a happy-go-lucky person, but the last half hour of the hike home he was interested in nothing but a bath and a bed.

　　Interesting: Old Wang, an otherwise happy-go-lucky person, thought of only two things the last half hour of the hike home: a bath and a bed.

　　關(guān)于"so...that..."或"such... that..."或"so..."從句

　　中國老師們經(jīng)常大段大段地教授這些形式，并要求學(xué)生們不斷練習(xí)。結(jié)果學(xué)生們過度依賴這些句式，就不怎么考慮別的用法了。

　　Plain: The comedian was so funny that as soon as he started talking people laughed.

　　Interesting: The comedian soon had them all laughing.

　　Plain: This is such an indispensable book that anyone who wants to speak and write with clarity, effectiveness, and individuality should possess one.

　　Interesting: This is an indispensable book for anyone who wants to speak and write with clarity, effectiveness, and individuality.

　　Plain: The professor was so quick-witted and so knowledgeable of the theater that he was instantly recognized as the best critic in his country.

　　Interesting: The professor’s quick wit and his awesome knowledge of the theater had won him instant recognition as the best critic in his country.

　　Plain: Jackie Chan was such a wonderful singer that his songs held eleven thousand people breathless.

　　Interesting: Jackie Chan’s songs held eleven thousand people breathless.

　　Weak: Many people in Shanghai used to live in attics, so they could see only a blank wall surrounding them.

　　Better: Many people in Shanghai used to live in attics, their only vista* a blank wall.

　　Plain: It was such an exhilarating experience that he felt dazed the whole evening, well after the concert.

　　Interesting: It was an exhilarating experience, one that left him dazed the whole evening, well after the concert.

　　避免過多適用"in order to ..."

　　Plain: In order to advance his or her career, a genius needs strong financial support.

　　Interesting: All geniuses need a millionaire to further their careers.

　　Plain: During rush hours in Hanoi, cars often scoot into bike lanes in order to get ahead of the traffic jams. This forces bikers to hug the curbs*.

　　Interesting: During rush hours in Hanoi, cars often scoot into bike lanes to cut through traffic jams, forcing bikers to hug the curbs.

　　Plain: In order to prepare for millions of visitors for millennium celebrations, the city has launched many projects, some ambitious, some modest, to beautify and modernize itself.

　　Better: Some projects are ambitious, others modest, and all will beautify and modernize a city expecting millions of visitors for millennium celebrations.

　　不要過于依賴"because ..."從句

　　Plain: We decided to take a taxi because we missed the bus by a second.

　　Interesting: Missing the bus by a second, we decided to take a taxi.

　　Plain: Because my schedule was so busy, I was not able to attend Susan’s birthday party.

　　Better: My schedule did not allow me to attend Susan’s birthday party.

　　Plain: Because I am dealing with the subject at the moment, let me give you a few statistics.

　　Better: While I am on the subject, let me give you a few statistics.

　　Plain: Deng Xiaoping initiated the responsibility system in the countryside and because of that he took the rural reform program to the next step.

　　Better: Deng Xiaoping initiated the responsibility system in the countryside and furthered the cause of rural reform.

　　關(guān)于"if...then"和"if"從句

　　很多學(xué)英語的人還會過多使用"if … then"或是"if"從句。這些從句本身并不是不好。但我們這里討論的是多樣性及其必要性?？纯聪吕?/p>

　　Before: If you fail to pass the drug test, we will have to dismiss you from your job.

　　After: Failure to pass the drug test will result in job dismissal.

　　修改后的句子語氣顯得稍強一些。同時因為句中省掉了"you"，使句子在語氣上減少了對抗性。這個解題對策適用于每種人稱，不單單指"you"。

　　Plain: If one imitates, one cannot expect to be great.

　　Interesting: No person ever yet became great by imitation.

　　Plain: If we want to end a war quickly, we must lose it.

　　Interesting: The quickest way to end a war is to lose it.

　　Plain: If we were directed from government bureaucracy when to sow, and when to reap, we should soon want bread.

　　Interesting: Were we directed from government bureaucracy when to sow, and when to reap, we should soon want bread.

　　Plain: Several staff members have checked the manuscript to see if it is accurate and easy to use.

　　Interesting: Several staff members have checked the manuscript for accuracy and ease of use.

　　Plain: If words are taken out of context, they are not very likely to mean the same as they do when they are in context.

　　Interesting: Words taken out of context do not always mean what they do in context.

　　另一個被廣為使用的從句是"even though"或"although"。請注意在此談?wù)摰牟⒉皇蔷渥拥腻e誤，我們強調(diào)的是文體風(fēng)格問題。

　　Plain: Although they were very important in California, laundries were even more significant in other parts of the United States, for laundering was one of the four "pioneer" occupations that enabled Chinese to move eastward across the continent.

　　Interesting: Important as they were in California, laundries were even more significant in other parts of the United States, for laundering was one of the four "pioneer" occupations that enabled Chinese to move eastward across the continent.

　　Plain: Even though the summer of 1889 was the warmest on record, the winter of the same year was cold.

　　Interesting: The summer of 1889 was the warmest on record, followed by a cold winter.